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No More Memories....Can you imagine me being a different person? What goes through your head when I am next to you? Why are you so distant? What are you hiding?
Please answer me, before I fade...
Chapter 1Chapter 1
"Once upon a time...many moons ago, there was a thriving city surrounded in fog, and within that fog--fiends lurked. This place was inhabited by many eccentric people. These people came from many foreign places, bringing their beliefs, traditions, even fears together. Within this town, there lived a woman that had an extraordinary power; she was not like the rest. She had a very lovely aura about her, and her beauty matched that aura. She was a Spirit Warrior. Behind the walls of this fortress filled with knights, bards, and things of that nature, she was one of a warrior breed that died out a long time before...or so they say. This race was called 'The Eternals.'
This people devoted their lives to fending off the more powerful demons and fiends of the world that plagued the land. Alongside the knights and guardians of the world, they helped plunge the darkness of the land into the fog and dark places of the world. Sanctuaries, places of prayer and refuge wi
Anger: My Greatest Ally..and FoeWith you, I feel free, unchained, unrestrained...inhuman. I feel weightless, like I can fly above everything fearlessly, but at the cost of my sense of direction. I have no fear, no hesitation, nothing holding me back, but...but...nothing is holding me back; no words, no memories, no thoughts...no will.
I feel like I'm invincible. I love that feeling--helplessness is not a crutch!! Once that grasps at my heart and mind, my soul becomes obsolete...my being becomes enigmatic, my actions erratic...my feelings...void and of no effect. My only thought is to lash out and cause as much pain to the one that caused it to me. ANyone else who gets in my way...tough.
I love it...
I hate it..
It's not me...
I cause so much damage with it, and yet, I cause so much damage with it...God, this is the imperfection that makes me perfect!! It is my greatest ally...my greatest foe. A house divided amongst itself cannot stand.
I am constantly building myself up...while tearing mys
Restless ThoughtsIs this heaven...or hell?
It's far too dark in here to tell...
Am I floating or still in place..?
Awake or sleep, awake or sleep...
Common GroundPain is living
Peace is sleeping
Faith is eternal
Hope is fragile
Life is ugly
Death is beautiful
The strong survive
The weak perish
Hearts are for those that know the meaning
Souls are for those that care
Love is for all that want it
Salvation is for everyone
Giving up is easy
Giving in is not an option
Fighting is only for what is worth fighting for
Dying is for beliefs
So tell me which category do I fall under?
Some Monsters"It approaches!!" is all I hear... Haha I'm the mighty beast you fear...? You should. Calling on fire to rain from heaven, stopping the wind from blowing prosperity across your land...I see why you think this.
It's a futile thing to get so many armies raised against me.
You open your gates to the enemy, but close it to allies. Why do you wish to see me destroyed...?
Does hell follow me, or are you tired of the correction? How does it feel to know that the very thing you asked for is the downfall you sought to escape. I know what you are. I see what you do in secret and show you openly.
What does it profit you to call on so many people to stand with you? It's a bittersweet thing to know me. Is it not strange to you that I show up when things are "easier" for you? Aren't you all tired of seeing this beast? I carry no fangs or weapons, yet you treat me as a hell hound. I love your honesty. As I move closer to your walls,I feel your cold stares, burning into my flesh, peering into what you
I Wonder...Who says they have a cross to bear, and actually takes it on their shoulder?
Why is the price of freedom so steep?
Where do I get to lay my head when I am in need of sleep?
What causes you all to become colder?
I am at wit's end with the pain in my chest.
No heart that beats--just lead
I never want to feel emotion again
Or thoughts float through my head
I'm through with rhyming and holding smiles
for all that want a treat
Where ravenous wolves peek and defiles
Tender meat to eat
I run out of things to say to death and all its young
So keep my heart and spirit white..
While I cut out my tongue
Your Sins...Your Reflections...I feel nothing. I hear nothing. I see nothing....and yet
(echoing) and yet...
I am at peace.
Peace floating....in this....black....abyss.
...you put me here...
Don't Be Afraid, Stray...Look into my eyes. Let me glance into your soul! What are you hiding...? Let's peer into that endless night that you shroud yourself in. You have only one star, no moon. Nothing worth stealing or lusting after. It seems that your will to go on has dried like the brook you sat beside. Such an abyss as this--what more could you be sorrowful over..?
Why do your eyes lose their light? I see them turning into coal--no; black pearls. Your beauty shows within your turmoil. Let me hear your heart! That beat...that tempo. Yes, I remember it. It rages savagely. The warmth is leaving your body. That dark heart is returning to me. I love the way that you thrash about!
Love, hope, joy....they tried to take it all from you. But... I see a future--a bright one. Bright like...a burning city; set on flames by you. My dearest visionary, you don't have to lift a finger. You have the strength and will of a thousand mighty men, but your soul; it is the very thing that they war for. Amaze me once again! Ris
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
specter boys have always looked best sinkinghe says,
i want to count all 206 &
feel the notches of your ribs -
i want you, weary boy, to
phase yourself down while
you are burning inside out.
i will seethe inside your skull
like thoughts, like cigarette filters;
you will thank me as i molder in your marrow.
Moira (Excelsior)Moira (Excelsior)
hands clap over my eyes
like a chain clasp
linking lace around my neck.
and our clutch.
splitting into a wide upward curve,
canines and incisors cut through screens.
time rotates in a downward degree
360 degrees infinitely,
but the days are confined to finite.
and if i could, i'd connect the 12 lines
and walk along them endlessly.
i'd lose the ability to dream
and i'd never have to mingle
with the cousin of death.
living forever as a verb,
until time laps around the track
about 10 million times before
it has lost its legs.
i don't wanna sleep,
i want to dream
in an empirical reality.
hold the old time in my hand
and let the prospect bleed
into the prophecy.
These Faded KeysOf all the keys I click
As we speak each day,
It's the back arrow
That's faded most
These white letters
Would surely tell you,
I reply to everything -
But the key reading "enter"
Will be the one to explain
Why it still looks new
I want you to know
Just how much I care,
But I don't want to be close
Out of the fear of losing you
But please remember:
I dedicate these words to you,
Sharing them to the world
Rather than clicking away
At the faded key ~
Tonight, I finished a roll of toilet paper
that I had started
a month, 8 days,
two hours, and 21 minutes ago.
Its genesis, June 11th,
one of the worst nights of my life,
I took a roll from my small bathroom,
and silently tucked it under my arm.
I couldn't let my girls know.
They couldn't know
I was going to use this as my broom.
They couldn't know
that I swept my shattered heart
under my bed.
And I wept.
My pillow taking my abuse,
my suffocation and my attacks.
My fingers squeezing it for dear life
and my knuckles as I punched it,
imagining it was her.
Then hugging it.
I only cried that hard
when I was about 6.
She was gone.
And so was I.
I cried every night
which would've marked
our 7-month anniversary.
And in the late days of that month,
I lied to myself.
And for that,
I regret every moment.
I wasn't ready.
At least I stopped it,
before we drowned each other
like the last woman.
Two weeks lat
Why Do I Try...?I've said my piece and you turned your ears
I stayed awake to battle your fears;
I told the truth, and you didn't like
But it's came to this, the final spike;
Beautiful, cute, all of this
Not one time did you ask for this;
A friend, was I, even now
I give respect, I even bow;
What could've been, what isn't here
What was so far, is now so near;
You down yourself, you take the blow
Why do I try...? You're never gonna get it....
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